we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
