i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
