mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
