I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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