Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
