Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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