I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
