i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
