I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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