O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
