So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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