Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
