covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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