we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said her name was "party"
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
