So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She's the barista slut.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
