I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
