it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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