dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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