Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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