If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
