It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
