By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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