this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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