My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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