and next time when you feel me up, do it right
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
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Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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