I just made out with a guy for $7.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
