Where is the hickey?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize