then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize