I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
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Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
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Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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