apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
