Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
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Reggie can tackle my bush.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
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I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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