Tell her she can't have a vagina
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
