so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
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she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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