don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
