I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it's like iHOP with fire
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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