I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
