There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
