That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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