good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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