i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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