Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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