woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want her autograph on my taint
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
