Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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