Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
