I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We left the knife in your bed.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
