Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
