just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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