Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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