Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
