just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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