The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize