All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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