I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
