Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
