Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just gargled with NyQuil
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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