I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext me about skeletons
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.