Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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