Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
3pm strippers are depressing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
