my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
