found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
