in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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