We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
