She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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